Hop on!

6 weeks had passed and here I am stranded by my own will.

There are so many things that I've learned so far and there are some lessons that I still had to re-learn and to be honest, I'm not sure if I've mastered any of it.

Patient.
and to be patient.

I pray hard that of all things that I could have at this very moment is to be patient.
Next in line would be to ignore things and people that could annoyed the hell out of me.

I care way too much.
My mistake is that I thought I "belong here", I thought that blood relationship is way too special that no "eejits" could stand in our way.

HUGE mistake.

I throw a question today.

"What would you do, if it's the reverse situation? I'm on your shoes and you're in mine?"

The answer was
"I'll do just exactly I'd do for anyone else family or friends, I'll table the pros and the cons and the rest is up to you"

My eyes starts to teary, and my voice cracked but I'm not sure where the hell the smile on my lips came from but I smiled.

"Noted." a super short reply I could give.

For years, I've been wondering if anyone would do what I could do for them.
I wonder if those who claimed that they cares for me would jump off the boat to saves me just like what I've done.

Today I've gotten the answer, not quite what I'd  expect but the truth that hurts.

I love truth, didn't I?

If I ever stuck in such shitty situation with nothing but toxic that could ruin not only my life, but others too I hope that god will be kind enough to send someone to give me a nudge that what I'm doing is wrong and I'll be able to see it no matter how brutal it'll be.